How Not To Eat Behind Your Own Back

I had a few asides there, but I am back on track. We left off with Judith Beck telling us to to eat slowly, sitting down, and enjoying every bite (or something along those lines, right?). This is about paying attention. When we are eating for reasons other than hunger, we go out of our way not to pay attention. That is when we try to eat behind our own backs.

Geneen Roth's eating guidelines mirror Beck's suggestion, although Roth puts much more focus on these ideas, while Beck slumps them together as one of many "skills" to master.

You may remember Roth's first three guidelines: Eat When You Are Hungry; Eat What Your Body Wants; Stop Eating When You've Had Enough.

Guideline #4 is Eat Sitting Down. Apparently this means at a table. She goes out of her way to tell us this does not include eating in the car. I get the impression that lots of people, especially emotional eaters, eat standing up in front of the fridge. I rarely do this, nor do I eat in the car, but I did catch myself eating my daughter's leftovers as I stood at the sink to do the dishes. Mom: the garbage disposal. I also eat standing up at parties. OK, maybe there's no place to sit down at the party, but you get the idea. It's like if you are standing up it doesn't count. If you fix yourself a plate, maybe even set a placemat and a napkin, light a candle or something...you are much more likely to realize that you are eating. Sounds simple. Try it!

Guideline #5 is Eat Without Distractions. Again, it's all about paying attention. TURN OFF YOUR TV. (That's my guideline #1!) Of course, you may be chatting with your family or friends, you may have some music playing, but let eating be what you are primarily doing. If you are eating while you're driving, you are, hopefully, mostly driving (for example). If you are eating while you are watching TV, you may keep eating until the show is over and not even know what you had. Even if you cannot escape distraction altogether, make a point of checking in with your body every now and then. How do you feel? Has your body had enough?

Guideline #6 is Eat with the Intention of Being in Full View of Others. Do you have eating habits that you would never indulge in when you had company? Do you sneak food that you would never eat if someone were watching? I remember a few times that I ate something simply BECAUSE no one was watching me. (Can't miss those opportunities!) Of course, we all have times we eat alone (and if we are trying to eat without distraction, it is helpful to eat alone sometimes), but we should then respect ourselves as our own witnesses. (What would I think if I saw myself eating this way?)

Guideline #7 is Eat with Enjoyment, Gusto and Pleasure. When you eat a bag of chips while you're watching TV when you are not hungry, do you enjoy them? (Do you even notice them?) Diets can take all the joy out of eating, but eating can be and should be pleasurable. (For me it's too pleasurable.) If you really feel hungry, and you choose something that your body wants and needs, and you sit down and pay attention to the food you've chosen, and then you stop eating when your body has had enough so that you don't ruin the beauty of this meal with a follow up tummy-ache and possible guilt-fest, don't you think you would really enjoy that food? And if you really enjoy and appreciate your food, don't you think you will pay attention to it?

Do you eat behind your own back? If so, do you enjoy that food? And you don't enjoy the food, what is that about?

If you think you don't eat behind your own back (like I did), try following all these guidelines. If one of them is hard for you, that's where you need to put your attention. (If they're all easy, you probably don't need to be reading my blog!)

Remember, it's simple: all you have to do is pay attention.