Sunday, November 8, 2009

A Few Tips

There are a few more things I learned from Judith Beck that I want to share with you before I move on.
She does talk about differentiating between hunger and non-hunger, but we've covered that. She also talks about decatastrophizing hunger. This was interesting to me. I tend to avoid eating until I'm starving, and then I scarf, but a friend of mine does just the opposite: she does everything she can to avoid getting hungry in the first place, so she snacks all day. Both of us end up over-eating, but her style was new to me! Either way, Ms. Beck's point here is well taken: hunger is not an emergency. I don't need to get in a panic and overeat, and she doesn't need to avoid hunger by eating all day.
She also talks about things you can do to manage cravings. She talks about this in a very "restrictive eating" context, i.e., to avoid going off your diet. I think they can be used in an intuitive eating context too. If you are trying to eat only when you're hungry and to stop eating when your body has had enough, there are going to be times when you want to eat that don't fit those guidelines. Now maybe by now you've gone to therapy to figure out the underlying emotional issues and this is no longer a problem, but short of that, here are some simple techniques (in addition to those mentioned in the last post).
Ms. Beck describes an "Oh Well" technique in which you may feel disappointed that you are not eating that brownie sundae, but you just tell yourself, "oh well," which puts it in the category of being in a situation that you just have to accept, like being stuck in traffic.
I hate these little "techniques" because they feel so contrived and simplistic, but I was stuck in traffic on my way to work last week and was just making the worst of it, feeling annoyed with myself for the route I'd taken, wondering how much longer this would take than if I'd just stayed on 280, generally torturing myself over nothing. Then I just stopped and said, "Oh well." Suddenly, just like that, I was no longer tortured or even annoyed. I was perfectly content. It worked like a charm. (I haven't tried it with food yet, though.)
She also suggests a "No Choice" technique which is similar. Think of the conversations you have in your head about food sometimes. (Like, "Gosh, that brownie looks good." "Don't even think about it, fatso! That's the last thing you need." "But how can I possibly resist? It's freshly baked!" "Don't you dare!" ETC.) Would you ever go through that kind of torment over brushing your teeth? Putting on your seatbelt? Those are things we've put in the No Choice category. She suggests putting "sticking to your diet" in that category, but we're not dieting, are we? I used it, long before I listened to this CD, with exercise. I was having ridiculous arguments every morning about whether or not I would get up early to exercise, and the NO vote was always winning. Finally I got so sick of myself, I just started doing it, and that required basically putting it in the No Choice category. (Incidentally, I also told my husband my plan and had too much pride not to do what I'd said I'd do. That helped more than anything I think.)
She also suggests that if you get off track, rather than using that as an excuse to get farther off track ("I've already eaten two donuts: what's one more?"), cut your losses as soon as you. And, when in doubt, distract yourself from the temptation. (She recommends creating a "distraction box," which might include, among other things, clear nail polish because if you paint your nails your craving will likely be gone by the time your nails are dry. Again, that's not for me, but there it is.
OK, here's the clincher: "Learn to eat everything sitting down, slowly, and enjoying every bite." Here, we hit the jackpot! She mentions this as one of many skills to learn, but I think this, along with differentiating hunger from non-hunger, is the key to what we all need, and this will lead me to my next post...

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