Cat Fight in the Diet Aisle

I have to make a confession. I actually purchased and read the book "Skinny Bitch" by Rory Freedman and Kim Barnouin. It was what you would expect from the title. I felt a little foolish for having given them my money and time. I didn't even think to mention it to you until I ran across a new book, "Shut Up, Skinny Bitches!" by Maria Rago and Greg Archer. It is basically a critique of what they call "The Skinny Bitch Mentality." Although their intentions are good--really very good--they seem to be stooping almost to Skinny Bitch lows to make their point--which you might also expect from their title. What is happening in the diet literature? Can't we at least communicate like civilized people?
So while I found "Skinny Bitch" highly dismissible at the time, I realize now that it is really quite a dangerous little book. I have to admit that I was glad when Rago and Archer called Freedman and Barnouin out on the carpet. (Is that a real expression? It sounds funny.) "Skinny Bitch" starts like this: "Are you sick and tired of being fat? Good. If you can't take one more day of self-loathing, you're ready to get skinny." So right off the bat, we are hearing the message that if we are overweight we should not only feel "sick and tired" of it, but we should hate ourselves for it. Rory and Kim go on to call the reader the following names, as pointed out in the aforementioned critique: gluttonous pig, moron, shithead, cheap asshole and pussy. Of course they are just trying to be cute, right? Trying to get our attention? Rago and Archer note that "millions of people purchased the book. They were called the names listed here, yet they kept reading." Wait a minute, I purchased the book, was called those names, and kept reading! Of course, I didn't actually do ANYthing those skinny bitches told me to, so it's not like I was taken in by them (right?), but still, I let them talk to me that way! What was I thinking? They assume everyone wants to be skinny, must be miserable if not skinny, and must follow their rigid, bitchy recommendations to achieve such skinny-ness, although they deny that they wrote a diet book. Basically they tell to you become a vegan. I decided maybe I didn't want to be skinny after all.
Rago and Archer had more to say than just how damaging books like "Skinny Bitch" can be. Their message is, "Shut Up, and Eat!" (the title of their first chapter). Actually it's much more than that. They remind us that dieting DOESN'T WORK. We know that, right? It's a dismal failure all the way around. People who diet end up gaining weight in the long run, and they are often miserable in the process. "Have you noticed chronic dieters, and otherwise erratic or restrictive eaters, are some of the most frustrated, depressed people you meet? They're always fighting themselves and their body's natural cravings. The emotional war with their bodies drains them of precious life energy." They propose that all the time we spend worrying about the shape of our bodies could be better spent: "...millions of people on the planet don't even have enough food" yet we are expending all our energy "making sure our damn thighs don't touch." Point taken.
They suggest we follow our hunger cues, exercise for fun and health, address emotional and psychological issues and generally try to have a good time. In light of aforementioned emotional and psychological issues, they delve into the realm of eating disorders. If you are dealing with an eating disorder, this book has some good advice, but for more depth you should read Geneen Roth (review of her latest book forthcoming!). They present some scary statistics: approximately 88% of females and 43% of males are dissatisfied with their bodies, and 24% of women and 17% of men are so dissatisfied that they "would be willing to trade three years of their lives to achieve their weight goals." Even more sad and shocking, one study found "21% of five-year-olds were concerned about their weight and dissatisfied with their bodies." By 3rd-5th grades it's 50%, and 30% of middle-school girls are dieting on any given day. UGH! The Skinny Bitches are getting to our children!
Maria Rago did some very compelling and successful work organizing people who were in treatment for eating disorders to prepare and serve meals for the homeless. She recommends we "spend time getting to know what hunger truly is...this will help you understand the true value of food." Imagine how an experience like that could shift one's perspective on food. What a brilliant intervention as well as just a useful thing to do.
I didn't love this book, but I do appreciate how Rago and Archer address so many larger cultural issues. I haven't talked much about body image and the impact of advertising and other cultural messages on individual's sense of beauty and self worth in this blog because, well, don't get me started! That's a whole blog in itself. Plus I am always questioning whether writing a blog about weight management is even ethical because the last thing I want to do is buy into "The Skinny Bitch Mentality." And I certainly don't want anything I write to presume that my readers should for any reason be unhappy with their body shapes and sizes. So it's a slippery slope. I admire these writers' courage in taking it on, even if it was premised on their reactions to the stupid (but dangerous!) little book, "Skinny Bitch."
"Shut Up, Skinny Bitches!" concludes with the following advice: "Let's start fighting back against our thin-obsessed culture and cultivate deeper meaning in our lives...eat well, play, feel your emotions, embrace the size you are, and best of all, spread love through doing service." As long as they don't tell me to "shut up!" one more time, I will take their advice to heart and pass it on.