Signing Off

Well, my faithful readers, I believe this is my last post. I have said everything I set out to say, and more. This whole thing is definitely a process, and I still have a big stack of books on my bedside table to read about these and related issues. Perhaps I will have some post scripts in the future, but for all intents and purposes, the I am writing today just to wrap things up.

I have enjoyed the journey of exploring all of these issues and writing this blog so much. I feel like I have some momentum, so I am wondering what will be next for me. I have thought of turning this work into a small book, or a workshop. Either one will require a better name, so please let me know if you have any suggestions!

I hope you have found something in this blog useful or inspirational or educational, and I am also wondering what is next for you. I would love to hear from you about both of these questions: what is next for me, what is next for you?

Please let me know if you’ve tried anything I’ve suggested, what’s been helpful, what hasn’t. I’m very curious about what works for others. I know for myself, the basic goal setting is key, however tedious. I know I need to go back and re-read the beginnings of my blog and follow my own advice. When I am really setting and tracking small and reasonable goals is when I see the most change. Some of those changes are permanent; some need maintenance. Just thinking “I should exercise and eat mindfully”

is not enough for me!

I’d also love to hear any other feedback and if you have any opinion about whether I should try this material in a different venue, and if so, what kind? What would be the most useful for the most people, do you think? Or should I just stop now and cut my losses?

Like I said, I have enjoyed writing this so much. The fact that ANYBODY read my blog at all is just such a bonus! I am very grateful to all of you who have spent some time at www.skinnymamasdontdiet.blogspot.com. Thank you for your time and interest, and may you carry on with mindfulness and motivation!

The Political Approach to Weight Management

Well, I have actually said all I had set out to say. My goal was to review the “three-legged stool” of weight management that I learned in my aforementioned class: eating, exercising and self care. So there you go.

But wait! There’s more!

Somewhere along the line, during the months of writing this blog, I saw the movie “Food, Inc.” Now I thought I was a pretty savvy shopper, a pretty “green” consumer and a pretty knowledgeable voter. Well I have to say, this movie taught me a thing or two! I mean I knew the Food Industrial Complex was evil; I just didn’t know how evil...

If you have never seen “Food, Inc.,” run right out and rent it. I’d go so far as to say it changed my life. At the very least, it significantly changed the way I think about food--which is a pretty basic element of life. It will offer you all kinds of information about food that you will wish you didn’t know, and you will curse me, but you will eat with informed consent. You will make wiser food purchases. You will be healthier, and so will the Earth. This is important!

I can’t begin to cover all the information in this movie or any of the books I’ve read since (which I will mention later), so let me just implore you to educate yourself about the food industry and pay attention to what you’re eating and where it comes from. Every choice you make about what to eat makes a political statement. Food is big business. It’s not just about what you put in your mouth: it’s about where your money goes. It’s not just about your own health, but the health of animals, farmers, the planet.

I was surprised to realize what a large movement there is toward “slow food,” sustainable farming and ethical eating. Some of it gets complicated. The “organic” movement has been so successful that the food industry has started to take notice of this quickly growing market, hence the new organic sections at Wal-mart (I’ve never been in a Wal-Mart, so this is hearsay!). This is referred to as “industrial organic.” With organics becoming big business, think of all the acres of agricultural land that is not being treated with pesticides: hoo-ray! BUT, big business has, of course, undermined the whole original concept of organic farming. “Organic” no longer encompasses all it used to. Organic beef does not mean grass-fed beef. Organic pork does not mean humanely-raised pork. Organic vegetables do not mean sustainably grown vegetables. Organic just means without pesticides, and that’s a good thing, but such a small part of the picture.

If you want a very thorough, comprehensive and fascinating account of all of the issues, read “Omnivore’s Dilemma.” I am still plodding through it myself. It’s very detailed, but it’s also sort of the bible of sustainable food. It’s author, Michael Pollan, is oft-quoted in “Food, Inc.”--which is like the “Omnivore’s Dilemma”’s cliff notes--and will be oft-quoted by the end of this post.

I’m also working through the book “Animal, Vegetable, Miracle” by beloved author Barbara Kingsolver. If you’re not familiar with it, it’s an account of her family’s one-year commitment to eating locally and seasonally. They move to a farm and eat only what they and their neighbors produce themselves. I was having a hard time reading it straight through, so now I’m reading it month by month, as it was written. Like “Omnivore’s Dilemma,” it’s very detailed, very informative and very well-written. It inspired me to try to eat as seasonally and locally as possible, although I’m not about to move my family to a farm to do it. (My day job isn’t quite as flexible as hers is!)

We can hardly grow anything edible up here in these sandhills, but I have begun frequenting the plethora of local farmers’ markets much more regularly and checking produce to see where it was grown before I buy it. I also bought three inspiring seasonal cookbooks. I’d never given much thought to seasonality before since you can pretty much get any food any time of year--but how does that happen? The average meal in the US travelled 1500 miles to reach its eater’s plate. If it’s not in season locally, then it must have come from somewhere far away.

Eating seasonally and locally is a great way to reduce your carbon footprint and our dependence on oil. Next time you’re fretting over the oil spill, stop and think about how much petroleum it took to get your lunch to you. According to Pollan, “The food industry burns nearly a fifth of all the petroleum consumed in the US (about as much as automobiles do.) Today it takes between seven and ten calories of fossil fuel energy to deliver one calorie of food energy to an American plate.” He says only a fifth of the total energy used to feed us is consumed on the farm; the rest is spent processing the food and moving it around.

It’s not just transportation though. It’s processing and packaging, too. This is where the term “organic” lulls you into a false sense of security. Here’s one more Pollan quote to make you stop and think the next time you reach for that pre-washed package of lettuce and think you’re a “green” consumer because it’s organic: “A one-pound box of pre-washed lettuce contains 80 calories of food energy....growing chilling, washing, packaging and transporting that box of organic salad to a plate on the East Coast takes more tan 4600 calories of fossil fuel energy, or 57 calories of fossil fuel energy for every calorie of food. (These figures would be about 4 percent higher if the salad were grown conventionally.)”

Often it comes down to a choice between organic and local/seasonal. At first I was very stumped by this, but the more I read, the more I opt for local. Since organics have become big business, the regulations to be certified are more demanding, difficult and expensive--and in some cases absurd--prohibitive for many small, independent farmers. But small farms are more likely to grow food in the original spirit of the organic movement--humanely and sustainably.

Let me quote Pollan one last time to sum this up: “ It would...be a mistake to assume that the word “organic” on a label automatically signifies healthfulness, especially when that label appears on heavily processed and long-distance foods that have probably had much of their nutritional value, not to mention flavor, beaten out of them long before they arrive on our tables.”

The more I learned about this, the more inspired and discouraged I got at the same time. I felt both empowered and overwhelmed by all the information. The fact is, we are part of a society that processes, packages and transports its food, and it’s pretty hard to get away from that. It’s just like when you vote: it’s challenging to get enough information to feel confident that you really always know what you’re voting for. And it’s almost as difficult to always know where you’re food comes from and how it was made and what that means. Thankfully, more and more information is available to us, but unless you’re Barbara Kingsolver, you’re probably going to have to compromise a little!

One book that helped me simplify all these issues into some practical decision making at the grocery (natural food, of course!) store, was a straightforward little book called “Sustainable Food,” (which I happened to purchase at said natural food store). Another book which takes a simple and practical approach is Mark Bittman’s “Food Matters.”

I was drawn to “Food Matters” because I’ve been a fan of Mark Bittman’s cookbooks. Apparently at some point in his foodie career, he ran across a report that said global livestock production is responsible for about one-fifth of all greenhouse gases--more than transportation. This apparently got his attention, and he started looking into all these issues for himself, coming to this conclusion: “...a simple lifestyle choice could help you lose weight, reduce your risk of many long-term or chronic diseases, save you real money, AND help stop global warming...”

Bittman develops this whole “Food Matters” approach as an ethical, non-diet way to lose weight. He recommends we eat more plants and fewer animals and minimize highly processed foods as much as possible. It’s that simple. (By the way, his book is full of recipes and menu suggestions if you’re looking for that kind of practical guidance here.”)

So you see, here we have the political approach to weight management. You’d thought I’d gotten off track, hadn’t you? But no, I just shifted to my own three-legged stool approach to weight management: practical, spiritual and political. Now I have covered it all.

Respect Your Butt

I've always had a pretty flat butt, and at some point in my 43 years, it became flat and saggy. Last time I caught a glimpse of it I was dismayed to find it is now flat, saggy and lumpy. Horrors. It's hard to love an ass like that. (Of course, it's all relative. I've seen worse!) Every once in awhile you might spot a smooth, round, perky butt, but the truth is, most butts aren't all that pretty. And why should they be? Really, why do we expect our butts to be cute? They are for sitting and shitting! Nothing cute about that.

I don't want to get too carried away, but you get the point, don't you? A body's job is to carry it's person through life. Some bodies do better than others, but they all do the best they can. Think about the miraculous complexity of a functioning body. Think of all the things that have to work right for a body to thrive. And on top of all that, we expect it to look just so? My, we are a demanding bunch.

It seems like most of us are in a constant battle with our bodies. We are quite critical, judgmental and demanding. It is as if our bodies were somehow separate from us, and somehow deliberately behaving badly (by doing such deplorable things as becoming saggy and lumpy) just to thwart us.

I think if we can take a more forgiving and appreciative tone with our bodies, if we can show a little respect, it might become easier and more natural to eat well and exercise. Although I cannot fully accept my body the way it is (I do want it to change a little, but my expectations are very realistic--I'm not trying to make it into something it's not.), I can certainly appreciate it. I respect it. I am grateful to it for carrying me through every day of my life. And that makes me want to take care of it.

For some people, this is a no-brainer, but if you are someone who is at battle with your body, it might be very helpful for you to try to adopt an Attitude of Gratitude (as they teach in my daughter's martial arts class).

So the next time you glimpse your back end and immediately start thinking mean and ugly thoughts, stop and show a little respect. Imagine what it would be like to go through life without your butt. Say thank you to your butt for doing what it does best. Be grateful to your body and take care of it so it can continue carrying you through your life as long as possible.

On Being Zennier

One day I was driving down Highway 9 feeling exceeding frumpy. Not just frumpy, but also fat and fatigued. I worked myself up into a snit of dissatisfaction. I wanted to go buy new clothes, as if that would help. Then I stopped and noticed what I was doing, and told myself, in a slightly rude tone, "You should be Zennier!" As in, if only I could have a more Zen approach to life I would not be in this snit, if only, if only. I laughed at the irony of my silly internal dialog. I was approaching Zen Buddhism with the same whiny graspingness that I was approaching the desire to go shopping as an antidote for my unfortunate frumpiness.

I rolled my eyes at myself and moved on to something a little more productive. The being Zennier was not bad advice in and of itself. What would it mean to let go of desire--like the desire to be thinner and better dressed and more energetic--and simply accept each moment, accept my body (and my wardrobe)? Try to imagine fully accepting your body, just as it is. I felt very strongly that there was something to this, that this might indeed be the key I'd been looking for, that maybe accepting your body just as it is would unlock it's capacity to change into what you really wanted it to be. What? I might have been on to something, but I was clearly missing something.

Plus, wasn't fully accepting my body what got me into this in the first place? While I was pregnant with my daughter, I decided to do something I'd never done before: trust my body. Well, what my body told me to do during my pregnancy was eat, and, especially, to eat hot fudge sundaes. I gained 50 pounds and birthed a 10 1/2 pound baby. I continued to eat with great gusto, but breastfeeding my giant baby allowed me to lose all the weight I'd gained. It was a happy time. Then her new little teeth started to rot, and her dentist recommended I wean her. Although my body wanted desperately to keep nursing, my milk was turning her perfect little teeth to dust, so I did what I was told. Unfortunately, no one told me to stop eating for two.

As I continued to find great pleasure in eating, I simply accepted my body as it grew and grew. I thought of all my training in feminism and the impact of the media on our body images and expectations, our ideas of beauty, and I chose to be what I thought was a good feminist and a good Buddhist and just accepted my growing body for what it was.

Well, needless to say, that approach turned out to be a little misguided. There was nothing wrong with striving toward feminism and Buddhism, to be sure, but I must have been going about it all the wrong way, because I ended up too fat to be happy or healthy. I still can't quite work it all out in my head. There's something about this deep acceptance that still feels compelling and important, but if you accept your body as it is, how do you motivate yourself to set goals and make changes to help your body be happier and healthier? I'm really stuck on this, and I'm hoping someone out there is a better Buddhist than I am and can shed some light on this conundrum. (I'm not even a Buddhist, so that makes this whole circular argument even more off track!) In the meantime, I'm reading a book called "The Zen of Eating," so perhaps that will guide me. I'll let you know when I get it all figured out!

A Few More Things to Say About Relaxation

When I wrote my last post, I have to admit, I was not practicing what I preach in any way. I wrote it standing up in the kitchen cooking bacon (organic, of course) for my daughter. I apologize for not giving you my full attention. I hated re-reading the post and finding typos. But I have to take the opportunities to write when and where I find them.

In my distraction, I left out a few essential points.

Chronic stress is so harmful to our minds in bodies in so many ways, one of which is it causes us to retain weight, which makes it particularly relevant for our discussion here. Something as simple as taking deep breaths can have a huge benefit. In our class they told the story of a patient who came in with cardiac problems, and they showed us the EKG printouts from before and after the patient practiced two minutes of deep breathing. Before, the heart rate was dangerously high, and after, it was within normal limits. Such a simple intervention.

I also forgot to point out how relaxation techniques give us opportunities to BE IN OUR BODIES. Many of us live our lives feeling very disconnected from our bodies. We may judge, abuse and criticize our bodies, but rarely do we fully occupy them. When doing any kind of relaxation exercise, try to intentionally experience being in each part of your body. Start by just feeling your scalp. How is your scalp doing? What does it feel like? Give it your full attention. Then work your way down.

I tried this during my commute recently and found the process a little disappointing because so many parts of my body were uncomfortable on my long car ride. Hmm, here is my nose, it feels a little stuffy. Here is my jaw which is clenched. Here is my parched throat. This is not so fun. I was reminded of that scene at the end of Raiders of the Lost Ark when Karen Allen's character challenges Indy: "Damnit, Jones, where DOESN'T it hurt?!" I also thought of my mom who has so many physical problems that an exercise like this might seem like pure torture to her. But, as I worked my way down, I was pleased to discover that my elbows and knees were not uncomfortable in any way. They felt perfectly fine. As I spent some time with them, they started feeling zippy. They almost tingled with their happy absence of discomfort. That cheered me up.

So try being in each part of your body, but you don't have to stop there. Try breathing into a specific part of your body. Try imagining a warm light bathing each part of your body in relaxing, healing energy. Experiment a little.

If you need a little guidance with this kind of thing, check out www.kimeronhardin.com. (Sorry, I failed in my attempt to make this a link.) Click on "pain and stress issues" and take a look at his CD: Drifting Downstream.

Relaxation, Visualization, Meditation

Believe it or not, I've been reading a lot of neurobiology lately. According to Bruce Lipton in The Biology of Belief, most of how we respond to our environment is based on how our neural pathways were laid out when we were children. The only way around that is to be extremely mindful so we don't automatically resort to unconscious responses, or to work directly with the unconscious mind to make adjustments in those neural pathways.

I truly don't know how much we can consciously communicate with our unconscious minds, but I like to give it my best effort. I have developed this visualization practice that is based on guided imagery, self-hypnosis concepts, conscious dreaming, and--I hate to admit it--The Secret. It's actually been very fun experimenting with all this. It's no panacea, that's for sure, but it can't do any harm, and it makes you feel good.

There are a million ways to do this, and it's a very personal process, but I'll tell you about some of the highlights of what I like to do.

I always start out with the Conscious Dreaming Technique of focusing on the very center point of my psyche and then expanding that out into "my happy place." Don't laugh at the "happy place" concept: all the insight, wisdom, motivation and guidance you need is available to you here. It's really pretty handy. In conscious dreaming the idea is to picture your own mind as if it were a beautiful and peaceful place. It took my awhile to settle on an image for this place. First it was sort of an exotic jungle, but the big leaves and humidity felt oppressive. Then it was a riverside, but I noticed I was just standing there watching the river (my life!) go by. Finally I settled on a botanical garden! Perfect.

When I've been led through guided visualizations in the past and asked to imagine a beautiful and peaceful place, the images were always much different than when I was given the Conscious Dreaming instruction to imagine my own mind as a place. Either way, this place must be, above all, a safe haven. I imagine that the images I create here are planted like seeds in the garden to grow into the reality of my life.

Try to engage all of your senses when you're imagining this place, then imagine yourself in it, yourself relaxed and radiant, with all your needs met. This alone can be a very rejuvinating process.

Most guided visualizations don't jump right into it like that but take you first through a relaxation process. The relaxation techniques are helpful in and of themselves. Most of them focus on the breath, and taking a moment to focus on your breath can totally shift the way you feel. I am breathing in. I am breathing out. Taking deep breaths, belly breathing, yogic breathing--all kinds of breathing--can help you relax, but simply attending to your breath without trying to control it is my favorite approach. You might do progressive muscle relaxation or visualize a warm, relaxing energy moving through your body.

Self hypnosis techniques take it even further in an attempt to get into a trance-like state of consciousness. It involved images of moving downward, deeper into yourself, by walking slowly down a flight of stair or floating slowly down to earth on a feather in a breeze--you get the idea--to arrive at your very center.

There are so many directions you can go from here, depending on your goals, but focusing specifically on weight loss, you might imagine yourself looking and feeling the way you want to look and feel. What does it look like and feel like to have lost the weight you want to lose? Picture it as if it has already happened. You might get a little more specific and imagine your fat cells shrinking, your metabolism speeding up to burn more fat and provide you with more energy. You might picture those clothes you've grown out of fitting comfortably again. You might picture yourself exercising and enjoying it. See yourself stopping eating when your body has had enough, putting down the fork, pushing away your plate, and feeling completely satisfied. I often spend a moment focusing on a very specific goal, i.e. the "ideal" weight I am working toward, and how my mind, body and spirit are all working together toward that goal.

You can use this process to promote health, relaxation, general well being. You can use it as a spiritual practice. You can call in mentors or guides, you can receive gifts, you can connect with your chi energy, you can have a conversation with your body. The possibilities are endless. I alternate between focusing on health and fitness and focusing on other aspects of what I want in my life.

It's important to always communicate with your unconscious with direct, positive statements in the present tense. ("I stop eating when my body has had enough," rather than "Don't overeat!" or "I will learn to stop overeating.") And it is supposed to help to finish by suggesting to yourself how you will feel when you complete the visualization. ("This sense of fulfillment and tranquility will stay with me throughout the day.") Personally, I like to end with a moment of gratitude. (There's quite a bit of chatter lately about the many benefits of practicing gratitude.)

I have a set of CDs that I ordered from Sounds True called "The Self-Hypnosis Diet." If you want to pursue this kind of thing but have a hard time getting started, that is a great resource, although I found the guy (can't think of his name at the moment) a little annoying. And I know the neurobiology is a little tangential, but if you're interested, see www.brucelipton.com, or even better, check out Dan Siegel, neurobiology guru. (His approach is all about INTEGRATION.)

Bruce Lipton says our beliefs affect us on a biological--a cellular--level, so I like to believe that doing this visualization practice can affect my beliefs in very basic and positive ways, and thus directly affect my body. Hey, it's worth a shot.

And not only neurobiology but almost every approach to wellness I've run across is promoting mindful meditation practice. Jon Kabat-Zin, the Mindfulness King, recommends 45 minutes a day, but anecdotally, 10 minutes is enough to reap some benefits. People who do it swear by it. I don't have the knowledge/experience or the patience at the moment to go into it, and there are so many resources available that could do it better justice than I could, so I will not elaborate on the process here, but let me just speculate that there is no way in the world that mindful meditation would not significantly support every single aspect of weight management that we have discussed. Or, I should say, in a direct, present and positive statement, mindful meditation supports every aspect of weight management.

Self Care for Weight Management

Let's start with basic emotional self care. What does it mean? In class they provided a "Self-Care Inventory" which was adapted from "Take Time for Your Life: A Personal Coach's 7-step Program for Creating the Life You Want" by Cheryl Richardson. Although it will take a little more work than going through a check list, I think it might be more useful to come up with your own inventory. Think hard about what in your life makes you happy or fulfilled or at peace, gives you energy or satisfaction or pleasure. Make a list of everything you can think of. Now--and this might be easier--list what drains you. Which list is longer?

What would it take to maximize the parts of your life that fulfill you and minimize those that drain you? Are there things you want to be doing to fulfill yourself that you are not doing? And what is keeping you from doing them? Or is it that you are just doing TOO MUCH and need to be doing less, even if what you're doing is satisfying on some level?

I am debating how much to go into this. I think it is so personal that it would almost undercut the spirit of this exploration to offer specific suggestions or examples. Just take some time to focus on it and see what comes up for you. Aha! There is the problem, huh? "Just take some time..." Just take some time to be mindful while you eat, and just take some time to exercise, and NOW WHAT? "Just" take some time to ponder self care, which, we can only assume, should lead to taking just a little more time to provide said self care? Ay yi yi.

Well, there it is. Whether the things in your life that you identify as "nourishing" are weekend hikes, volunteering, candlelit baths, or whatever else, they all require a little TIME. And ultimately, I think that's what self-care is: taking TIME for yourself to do your heart's desire...or, to do nothing at all.

I know a lot of my followers are working moms, and we may be among the worst at taking time for ourselves. It is a constant challenge. But you know the rap about putting on your own oxygen mask first, right? If you do not take care of yourself, how can you possibly keep up with taking care of everyone and everything else?

This is where the little inventory exercise comes in. Are there small ways you could begin to shift the fulfilling/draining balance? Like everything else we've been talking about, start small. Start experimenting with saying no to requests of your time. Find some little thing that has been nagging at you and address it. Find even a five minute block of time each day where you do only exactly what you want to do.

If the way you take care of yourself is by eating when you're not hungry, you really must spend some time with this issue. If you incorporate some kind of spiritual practice or ritual or body work into your day on a regular basis, say no easily, tend to feel radiant most of the time, have plenty of energy, sleep well and feel deeply in touch with your "true self," feel free to move on.